What? Caroline's posting a blog? *gasp* This can't be happening! 

Okay. I'm here. I have not died, but just about all of my electronic devices have. It's terrible. My computer is on it's last leg of its last life. Which means if it works, I have to squeeze all of my blog stalking and pinning in as fast as possible before it dies again. This also means that I can't upload any pictures. I have not as yet figured out how to post pictures from my phone to my blog. As soon as I do, I'll get more interesting, I promise. As it is, the only way i get to post pix is onto Facebook.  I'm not really comfortable posting pix of stuff I make or "alter" onto Facebook. I much prefer to be asked in person (with excitement) "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT SKIRT?!?!?" or "Those shoes are bad ass. Where can I find them?" Then I get a somewhat sick satisfaction out of saying, "Oh, this? Yeah, I made it." You all need to visit. That's it. It's only been 6 years, but I feel like I'm finally starting to pull my house together (even though my Christmas tree may or may not still be up). Dear Baby Jesus smelling like Johnsons Baby Powder laying in your darling little manger with that perfect little halo: Thank you for Pinterest. 

My cousin is getting married in two weeks. The wedding is in Hendersonville, and a country club. The invitations specified cocktail attire. Harumph. I will post pics of my dress. I found it in a vintage shop. I love it. It's sunshine yellow. But not so much Sunshine as IwillrockyourworldandohbythewayIlooklikeamillionbucks yellow. My accessories are all a copper/brassy color and also all vintage. My shoes are my own creation. I found a pair of nude pumps. I am, in the words of the immortal Carrie Bradshaw, "styling them up." You'll love them. That is what I've been working on today, that is what I have to say.

My brother is getting married! He's getting married out near Sacramento, CA in July. If you know anybody who needs a kidney, let me know. 

I really have got to figure out how to post pics to Blogger from my phone. Any suggestions? 

Stuff I've been busy making...

This isn't a real post, per se, rather, a few pictures of things I've been doing. I don't quite know what's gotten into me, but it's a little terrifying. Among things not pictured: a full size quilt and a batch of jam I "put up" while the berries were in season. Yes, a quilt. I super cute quilt, if I do say so myself. It's off being quilted on a long arm machine as I write this. I'll post pictures as soon as it's done. Loving this book for awesome quilt (and easy) quilt patterns. I did the tree pattern, but I use that term loosely. I changed the size, colors, and branches. And yes, I did put up jam. Strawberry Banana Split jam. We've eaten 6 jars, and wishing we had more. Anyway, pictures and explanations:

The framed letter says:

Dear Fork,

I understand that we haven't spoken since I ran away with Dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair.

Sincerely,

Spoon

It's on an aged linen paper and in a solid brass antique picture frame I scored a couple of weeks ago. I loved the contrast. It's now one of my absolute favorite things in the house. That may include Shelby.

The owl is a piece that I hand cut using the German technique, Scherenschnitte. He's on a background of old book pages. I call him Francis.

The make up holder in the bathroom is actually pretty cool. I got one of those metal oil drip pans from the automotive department and cut it up into 8 x 10" segments with tin snips. One pan will make about 6 of these. Then I covered it in a fabric that matched my bathroom and framed it. I glued magnet dots to the back of my make up and now it sticks right on the fabric.

The purse is my new pride and joy. It's definitely the hardest sewing project I've tried to date. I think it turned out well, especially for the first time, but I can't wait to try it again and make it perfect. There are pictures of the front (with the pleat and the bow), the back, and the interior. Yes, I lined it too. With a coordinating fabric. And pockets. See the tag that's sticking out beside the pocket on the inside? It is a professionally printed tag that says Made by Caroline. A friend of mine got me a whole roll of these tags as a gift. The purse is made of cotton fabric and incredibly stiff interfacing so that it will hold it's shape. 

The black flower wax art is also a new favorite. The pictures don't do it justice. The background is really a grey/silver that is darker in person. The whole piece is dark and I love it. I melted black, grey, and silver crayons onto the canvas I painted grey. I melted them in such a way that I could use them as flower stems. Then I made origami flowers from book pages that I'd painted red. It's not done yet, I plan on adding a couple more flowers of varying sizes, but I thought I'd share. I absolutely love it.

The afghan is self explanatory. It's warm, chunky and makes me want hot chocolate.

The other wax art is just melted crayons dripping across the top. I love the colors. It's bright and cheery, and makes me smile each time I look at it. It took me hours, several canvases, and one possibly second degree burn for me to figure out how to get them all to melt in a straight line like that. I love it, and it makes me think of "New York int he fall. It makes me want to buy school supplies." 

I'm working on a few other things, but these are my most completed pieces. 

Begin Scene: Shelby and I were home on Saturday, doing absolutely nothing. She was coloring/creating/painting my carpet and I was reading/dozing on the couch. We were watching some Disney movie, one of the newer, pre-teen angst things. It was something about a boy turning into a merman when he turned 13. Anyhoo. I finally liven up enough to think about dinner and Shelby pulls herself out of her what I call "process" mode. I call it this because if she's really involved in something artistic and I start talking to her, she'll gripe that I'm interrupting her "process."

Shelby: Wow. I was just thinking.

Me: (apprehensively) Okay... (I'm thinking she's got a body stashed somewhere).

Shelby: Can I skip puberty?

Me: Only in Neverland.

Shelby: Oh. Well, I guess if it HAS to happen to me, I hope it happens on a weekend.

Me: (choking on a laugh) I'm not sure it works that way.

Shelby: Am I gonna grow boobs?

Me: Not if you have your grandmas genes.

Shelby: Oh. Can we order pizza?

Opening scene: Shelby sleeps with me during most of the winter. I know that sounds dramatic, but it's kind of a necessity during the winter up here. My house is old and ineffecient, so I usually close off her room during the winter to cut heating costs. Plus, it's not like I'm sleeping with anybody else, and I like the cuddles and snuggles. Most of the time. Other times she kicks like a freaking mule. Anyway.

We're laying in bed listening to the alarm go off and hitting snooze about 15 times. I obviously am running incredibly late, and because we're both children I slammed her out of the bathroom first. When I came back out to do my "Ahahah, I got the hot water and I may not have used your toothbrush because I couldn't find mine" dance, she was still in bed with her arm thrown dramatically over her face.

Shelby: Mom. I'm really suffering here. I can't possibly go to school today.

Me: Why? Are you sick?

Shelby: Yes, terribly. I think I have scurvy...

And so begins my Monday... My daughter is a pirate and I'm using an Ironman toothbrush. I love my life. :o)

Today I was forced to give Shelby one of my famous, overtold yet still witty "as long as you're a minor and under my roof" speeches. Yes, I did actually use that phrase. I think I'll be retiring it now. She looked up at me with those baby blues and said, full on serious,

"But, Mommy, I don't want to work in the mines!"

So I got dressed for work in a huge hurry this morning. You know, shoved stockings in my purse because I didn't have time to put them on, ran out the door with wet hair, brushing it on the way, had to drink crappy office coffee because I didn't have time to make my own, etc. Soon after I got to work and regained some semblance of professionalerability, I noticed a weird smell. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I'd just get a whiff every now and again. I finally get home, and in my hurry to slide into sweatpants, I started stripping as I was coming through the door.Then I identified that horrible smell. That smell of sour laundry that I forgot I had in the dryer (everything was still barely damp) all weekend. The smell I didn't zone on this morning as I grabbed the shirt and pulled it on while I was starting my car. I went all day smelling like a horses ass. Stellar.

You know I love you, Tricia!!!

You know when you get a god awful cold that may in fact be some kind of crazy killer monkey virus and you spend a day or two honest to god wishing you'd die? The kind that comes with brightly colored snot and a fever so high your eyes burn? I'm so there. I'm also a little tipsy, and basking in the new found knowledge that the combination of wine, alkaseltzer and cough drops make things a little better. I'm loving that I found "grown-up" nail polish that is scented. I may be a little stoned, actually. Shelby painted my nails to make me feel better, and now they're a lovely shade of lavender and smell like grape. I. can't. get. enough. Anyhoo. I'm laughing hysterically at this week's Dirty Jobs. The thought of some poor scientist so dedicated to finding flavors for the worlds best jelly beans that he eats his own ear wax is just ludicrous. I don't think I could like my job that much. Just sayin. Now, laughing so hard has made my throat hurt even worse. So I'm going to bed.